thread the light.

Life has been absolutely crazy.

I'm not even sure where to begin...I have been blessed with having truly been experiencing God in my life, more than ever, more tangibly than I knew possible-and it has brought true joy into my life.  I have never felt more loved, more romanced.  It is crazy.  Crazy crazy.  Good crazy.

Last night I saw The Swell Season (Marketa Irglova & Glen Hansard from "Once").  It was so incredibly inspiring.  I felt the Lord's presence as I sat in the theatre.  I ordered tickets a little too late so Adam had to sit in the row in front of me until the very end of the show, but really, that was good in itself.  I just felt wrapped up in love the whole night.  I sat next to a really wonderful couple who was keeping me company for a bit, but it was great to just be in that setting and not be surrounded by people I knew. The theatre was wonderful too...it was very intimate.  It was really just amazing.  Here is a lyric that gave me goosebumps and butterflies for a long period of time:

Thread the Light,

Shine the Light,

Don't hide the Light,

Live the Light,

and Give the Light,

Seek the Light,

and Speak the Light,

Crave the Light,

and Brave the Light,

Stare the Light,

and Share the Light,

Show the Light,

and Know the Light,

Raise the Light,

and Praise the Light,

Thread the Light,

and Spread the Light.

Amazing.

Now, a quote that I love that I feel goes quite well with that:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world.  There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others.    -Nelson Mandela

God is so good...He is really stirring people up right now.  

Amen.

He is on the move.

1 Corinthians 10:13

If to distant lands I scatter

If I sail to farthest seas

Would you find and firm and gather

'Til I only dwell in Thee

If I flee from greenest pastures

Would you leave to look for me

Forfeit glory to come after

'Til I only dwell in Thee

If my heart has one ambition 

If my soul one goal to seek

This my solitary vision

'Til I only dwell in Thee

           -Brooke Fraser

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

amazed.

Yesterday was a really good day.  Early on I became discouraged and just didn't have a good feeling about things in general...but at a late point in the night when it was totally unexpected, God just came in and picked me back up.  He restored what had been breaking and hurting the rest of the day.  It was really exciting and I'm still feeling really small and thinking of Him with great adoration.  It's a wonderful thing.

till I only dwell in Thee...

Things have felt more complicated lately for some strange reason.  I was told recently that I think Calvinistic-ally because I am constantly searching for the "why" in the reason.  I do believe that God allows us to be in every situation for a reason-so I try to figure out why...it's not an easy thing to learn though.  I think that most of the time we don't understand it until later, which should be okay.  

I have been humbled this week.  I haven't really had a voice, which feels very strange.  I can't remember the last time I was hoarse or losing my voice.  It's crazy.  It's quieted me a bit which is interesting-I've learned that I really love talking.  It also has hurt to laugh, which is just sad.  The most humbling part though, is that I can't sing.  I really dislike it. Actually, I think it's more of a hatred.  It's so weird how disturbing it feels-but like I said...it's humbling and I don't think we can ever be humbled enough-so it's good.

I've been learning that I almost always have bad intentions, that I'm weak, tired, messed up, completely and fully imperfect, and that I'm sinful...but even though I am all of these and more, I am adored, beloved, cared for, admired, and paid for.  It's truly amazing.  Every day we betray innocent blood, and everyday that blood is wiped away.  We are so lucky and so blessed.  Why can't we just get that through our tiny heads?

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"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.'  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither heights nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord".           -Romans 8:35-39

how He loves.

He is jealous for me,

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree

Bending between the weight of His wind and mercy

When all of a sudden, I am aware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us so

Oh, how He loves us

How He loves us so.

revelations.

Wow.  What a trip.  So, I just spent a couple of days with a group of people that keep me going and keep me smiling and it was just really wonderful.  We were on our way to Gatlinburg on Monday morning and as the day progressed we ran into a slight problem.  I got in my first car accident.  At approximately 2:30PM I rear-ended one Elvis E. Pressley near Knoxville, Tennessee.  (Yes, that was the most ridiculous thing about it).  Everyone reassured me that it was really not something that could have been prevented and told me that I had handled it well-it was really positive encouragement.  I still don't know if it is totaled or if I am going to be car-less for a long period of time, but I just have to trust that I will be taken care of, and that all will be well.  I was unexplainably calm through it all though, everyone seemed a bit surprised.  I didn't cry, which surprised me.  Tears did begin to well up in my eyes later as I realized just how much responsibility had been in my hands.  Someone very dear to myself and the rest of the group could have been seriously hurt or killed, which is terrifying.  God truly provided for us as no one was seriously injured.  It was so nerve-wrecking.  Cait is such a trooper and her strength was shining through even though she was feeling the pain more than anyone else.  I'm really not sure how I got through it as well as I did though, I have been seeing ways that God is strengthening my heart lately, and it's really a blessing since I don't consider myself a strong person. Anyway, other than the accident we had a blast, and really I'm not sure another group of people could have remained so positive through an accident-so I was lucky to have done it when I did I guess...We hiked, hot-tubbed, tabooed, star-gazed, had incredible fellowship during meals, and really just experienced one another.  It was wonderful and I am blessed to have had this opportunity.

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I am really asking God to reveal some of the answers to my questions...maybe I just have too many.